Valuation and Shameless Bribery

Posted on Sat 8th Aug, 2026 @ 12:50am by Purulence Addams & Ignatius Collins
Edited on on Sat 8th Aug, 2026 @ 1:02am

842 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: [MAIN] Learning to Fly
Location: FMV Nameless Grace
Timeline: Explosion +3 days, evening

Purulence Collins arrived at her husband's mining freighter, the Nameless Grace, after leaving her friend Loren on the Ehtevau. Already, she could feel a flood of ideas filling her mind for a new gallery and studio, and she told herself to slow down. It wasn't even a done deal, and here she was, already making plans.

She went to Ignatius' study and leaned in the doorway. "Hey, sweetheart."

Ignatius looked up from his work, smiled at her, and went to meet her. "Hi! How was tea with Loren? Were the finger sandwiches made with real fingers?"

Purulence went into his arms and gave Ignatius a kiss. "Real fingers are overrated. Too bony. Not enough meat on them--and nail polish tastes awful!"

"You know this from personal experience?" Ignatius inquired, kissing her back.

Purulence batted her eyelashes at him. "I am an Addams."

"And I'm a Collins. Your family does not have the corner on weird, trust me."

"I still want to tour your family's mansion and find the staircase that leads into the 1840s," Purulence said, "but that's not why I came to talk to you. Loren had a business offer I'm considering, even if nothing comes of it. You know the Olla Podrida craft mall on the river in Tivoli Gardens?"

Ignatius blinked. "Not really. What about it?"

"Loren's retiring. She offered me her studio and gallery space in the mall--if the current owner doesn't simply demolish it."

"Which he might well do, if the building needs as much repair work as most of the station does." Ignatius clasped Purulence's hand in his and led her to the small sofa in his office, where they sat. "Are you saying that if massive repairs aren't needed, you want to accept Loren's offer? You'd like to resume your painting career?"

"Yes," Purulence said with a nod. "I still want to continue my personnel selection work with Collins-Griffin, but you don't need me there every day. I really only need to be present during the screening and interviewing process. The rest of the time, I can paint and run a gallery while someone else handles the day-to-day personnel work for you." She gave him a wry look. "While I'm glad to have completed my degree in human resources management, that really isn't what I want to do with my life. I'm itching to paint again."

"But-but then I wouldn't get to visit your office every day and do things that would get me sent to HR!" Ignatius protested.

Purulence snickered and rolled her eyes. "You'll survive."

"Says you!" Ignatius kissed her again and then leaned back against the sofa cushions. His tone shifted to one more serious. "I'm all for that, dear. I've always known that having you with me at the office all the time would be temporary, at best. We can change your title to HR Consultant from HR Manager, and that should give you the time you need for painting. I'll keep you on retainer, and you can charge for billable hours, like a lawyer would. Deal?"

"Deal," Purulence said. "But how much should I charge? I don't think there's a going rate for what I do."

"Hon, what you do is unique. You find the perfect new-hires. It's beyond price. Not only do they suit the work we hire them for, they all mesh well inside the company, and they don't seek greener pastures at the drop of a hat. I've never seen anything like it. Mack Stafford, for example--great pilot, easy-going manner, and understood the ship's name without me having to explain it to him. I mean, how many people read Byron, nowadays? I need you for that; as you said, we can promote from within or do an external hire to replace you as manager." He thought a moment. "I think you could charge 200, perhaps 300 FCU an hour for consultant work. I'd be very willing to pay you far more than that, because what you do is that valuable to me--but my accountants would probably question it."

Purulence nodded. "Part of why I advised they be hired was for honesty, accuracy, and a willingness to question things they think aren't right. I'll go with 300 an hour for now." She grinned. "It'll keep me in art supplies and tamales. Maybe I'll even branch out."

"That would defeat the purpose of leaving Collins-Griffin to paint," Ignatius said, mock-sternly. "Besides, I don't want some other company snatching you up!"

Purulence leaned against him. "You are the only person I ever want snatching me."

"Mm...glad to hear it," Ignatius said and wrapped his arms around her. "So when do you want to switch job functions? We should throw you a good-bye party, or something."

"Only after I've selected my replacement. As for a farewell party..." Purulence arched her brows. "With finger sandwiches?"

Ignatius returned her look. "I was thinking German chocolate cake or maybe some Orchids & Jazz Death by Chocolate."

Purulence laughed. "Sold! To the man who bribes his wife with chocolate and without mercy!"

 

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